Skip to main content

what are the voices in your head saying to you?

I've been noticing myself saying the phrases, "but, whatever," and "who knows?" a lot lately.  Yes, there are a lot of things that we don't know right now, but if I step back and really listen to myself, there's a lot of indecision and resignation in those wishy-washy words.

Information overload leads to confusion, especially when it comes to things that are new to us, like the "Novel" Coronavirus.  How do we best protect ourselves?  How effective are the vaccines?  How can I even get a vaccine? And on and on.

Then there's the nutrition and wellness scene.  What's the best diet for me? Vegan? Carnivore? Keto? Low-fat? Low-carb?  Who knows?  The research I read says this, but Self magazine says this...but whatever.

Self talk affects everything we do throughout the day.  That little voice in your head determines how you react to a situation, how you feel about yourself, and how you feel about others.  Do I want to be resigned and indecisive?  Not really.  There are many things that I feel very strongly about, but when challenged I sometimes back down.  I don't want to be too controversial,  I want people to like me (don't we all, really?), I want to fit in.  You would think that after five decades on this planet that I would be over that already.  I'm certainly not in middle school anymore.

There's also that little voice that says, "Is this really worth it?"  "Other people can drink beer and eat pizza with no (apparent) ill effects.  Why can't I?"  "I deserve a break today." "Starting tomorrow I will stop eating Girl Scout cookies, but today--bring 'em on!"  

None of that aligns with what I believe to be true, how I want to live, or who I want to be, but it's so hard to knock that little demon off my shoulder.

Some people refer to these voices as ANTs--Automatic Negative Thoughts.  They pop up out of nowhere (just like the 6 legged type) and try to sabotage the otherwise peaceful relationship you're enjoying with yourself.  Things like "I'm not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, likeable enough..." I'm sure you have your own version.  The trick is to smash those ANTs before they take up residence and cause a real problem, affecting your actions and sabotaging your intentions.

I read somewhere recently that we have between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day (some days are obviously more productive than others!) and that 98% of our thoughts are identical to the ones we had yesterday and 80% of them are negative.  Scary , huh?  No wonder it's so hard to change the narrative in our heads!

I know we've all been taught to think before we speak, but do we stop and think about what we are saying to ourselves?  Would we say the same things to a friend or a child?

I find that having a go-to list of phrases in my toolkit is a useful way to fight off the ANTs as I go about my day.  For example, when someone is really annoying me, I break out the "Everyone is doing the best they can" mantra.  When I get the munchies in the afternoon, I ask myself "What do I really want or need right now?"  When I feel like bagging a run I remind myself, "I never regret going for a run, but I often regret not going." Instead of thinking "I have such a sweet tooth; I can't resist the cookies," think "I am not a person who eats sweets," or "I don't eat sugars and processed grains."  Instead of "I have no willpower," think "I am a strong woman who has control over her actions."

Other mantras that have come in handy lately are:

  • Keeping to my habits makes everything easier.
  • I am doing the best that I can. (As long as I don't use this as an excuse!)
  • Do it now. (Don't let little tasks build up.)
  • Perfect is the enemy of good. (You might have to dial it down, but don't give up!)
  • I may not know what's best for everyone else, but I know what works for me.

All of these phrases help me feel like I'm still in control and not at the whim of any little ANT that might crawl in my ear.

Many people like to start the day with visualization, meditation, and/or affirmations.  (If you want to learn more about that, The Miracle Morning is a good place to start.)  That's really helpful in setting a purpose and mindset for the day.

Peace, friends!

If you'd like to talk to me more about creating a nutrition plan that works for you, I've got you!  I'm a certified Nutrition Coach who will create a simple, customized meal plan for you and coach you through how to implement it into your busy life.  We also talk about all the pitfalls that make it hard, and help you make it the anchor that keeps you healthy, energized, and sane through the whirlwind of your everyday life.

I'd love to talk to you about the program, so book a free consultation with me by clicking the Calendly button. I look forward to talking to you!


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

meditation on a rose

The universe was trying to tell me something this week.  First, I got a bouquet of beautiful pink roses from my daughter’s boyfriend for no particular reason (who does that? He’s a keeper!) The next day I read about the Heart of the Rose meditation in The Monk who Sold his Ferrari . In this form of meditation you gaze into the heart of a rose for several minutes, soaking in the beauty and clearing your mind of all other distractions. I tried it briefly, but honestly, I wasn't really into it. Later that day, since I apparently didn’t get the message, my coworker gave me a beautiful rose from her garden. So now I had a rose on my desk at work, roses on my table at home, and a book on my counter reminding me to take more time to meditate. I had been on a great streak of meditating ten minutes a day while I was at home all day this summer, but since I went back to work, that was one of the first habits to quietly slip away. The stress of the pandemic sneaks up on you. You think ...

create a new habit in 6 steps

Habits make our lives easier. They make things automatic and free us from the decision fatigue that hits us near the end of the day. However, you probably already know how hard it is to create a new habit. The old ones are so deeply ingrained. It should be simple—there really are only 3 steps involved. Trigger, behavior, reward. With some things it really is that easy. Walk into the bathroom, brush your teeth, enjoy the reward of fresh minty breath. Unfortunately, other habits are not so easy to implement. Habits around food can be the hardest! That’s where we bring in the big guns: habit stacking. Throw every trick you’ve got at it. There are lots of things you can do, but here are some of the most powerful tools I have found for creating better habits around food: 1. Put it in front of your face. If you want to drink more water, fill your water bottle and take it with you everywhere. If you want to eat according to a plan, print it out and post it on your fridge....

I slipped and fell off the wagon!

In an effort to keep the Christmas spirit alive and well this year, I baked all the usual cookies and treats:  buckeyes, fudge, caramels, snowball cookies, chocolate crinkles, ginger snaps... Everyone has a different favorite, of course, so I had to make them all, despite making proclamations that we would not go overboard this year and I was going to narrow down the list of things we would make.  I could try and make gluten-free, sugar-free versions, but what would be the point, really?  My kids wouldn't eat them, I would be stuck looking at them and feeling guilty that I wasted the time and money on them, and would feel obligated to eat them all myself.  Usually we make cookies and keep them in the freezer, doling them out little by little as we make our rounds of holiday parties.  This year, however, there are no parties to go to, and home baked treats are not as well-received as in years past. So...guess who's eating the cookies this year?  Yep, I fell ...