Information overload leads to confusion, especially when it comes to things that are new to us, like the "Novel" Coronavirus. How do we best protect ourselves? How effective are the vaccines? How can I even get a vaccine? And on and on.
Then there's the nutrition and wellness scene. What's the best diet for me? Vegan? Carnivore? Keto? Low-fat? Low-carb? Who knows? The research I read says this, but Self magazine says this...but whatever.
Self talk affects everything we do throughout the day. That little voice in your head determines how you react to a situation, how you feel about yourself, and how you feel about others. Do I want to be resigned and indecisive? Not really. There are many things that I feel very strongly about, but when challenged I sometimes back down. I don't want to be too controversial, I want people to like me (don't we all, really?), I want to fit in. You would think that after five decades on this planet that I would be over that already. I'm certainly not in middle school anymore.
There's also that little voice that says, "Is this really worth it?" "Other people can drink beer and eat pizza with no (apparent) ill effects. Why can't I?" "I deserve a break today." "Starting tomorrow I will stop eating Girl Scout cookies, but today--bring 'em on!"
None of that aligns with what I believe to be true, how I want to live, or who I want to be, but it's so hard to knock that little demon off my shoulder.
Some people refer to these voices as ANTs--Automatic Negative Thoughts. They pop up out of nowhere (just like the 6 legged type) and try to sabotage the otherwise peaceful relationship you're enjoying with yourself. Things like "I'm not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, likeable enough..." I'm sure you have your own version. The trick is to smash those ANTs before they take up residence and cause a real problem, affecting your actions and sabotaging your intentions.
I read somewhere recently that we have between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day (some days are obviously more productive than others!) and that 98% of our thoughts are identical to the ones we had yesterday and 80% of them are negative. Scary , huh? No wonder it's so hard to change the narrative in our heads!
I know we've all been taught to think before we speak, but do we stop and think about what we are saying to ourselves? Would we say the same things to a friend or a child?
I find that having a go-to list of phrases in my toolkit is a useful way to fight off the ANTs as I go about my day. For example, when someone is really annoying me, I break out the "Everyone is doing the best they can" mantra. When I get the munchies in the afternoon, I ask myself "What do I really want or need right now?" When I feel like bagging a run I remind myself, "I never regret going for a run, but I often regret not going." Instead of thinking "I have such a sweet tooth; I can't resist the cookies," think "I am not a person who eats sweets," or "I don't eat sugars and processed grains." Instead of "I have no willpower," think "I am a strong woman who has control over her actions."
Other mantras that have come in handy lately are:
- Keeping to my habits makes everything easier.
- I am doing the best that I can. (As long as I don't use this as an excuse!)
- Do it now. (Don't let little tasks build up.)
- Perfect is the enemy of good. (You might have to dial it down, but don't give up!)
- I may not know what's best for everyone else, but I know what works for me.
All of these phrases help me feel like I'm still in control and not at the whim of any little ANT that might crawl in my ear.
Many people like to start the day with visualization, meditation, and/or affirmations. (If you want to learn more about that, The Miracle Morning is a good place to start.) That's really helpful in setting a purpose and mindset for the day.
Peace, friends!
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