Do they not listen to me? Have I restricted too much? Are they rebelling? Or are they just teenagers, wanting to explore and make their own decisions with their new-found freedom? I choose to believe the last option.
They want to eat the same things their friends eat and go to the fun places their friends hang out. I'll admit, Takis and jellybeans probably are a little tastier than raw veggies, and my daughters haven't tuned in yet to the effects those things may have on their bodies.
When I look back at what I ate at their ages, it's horrifying to me. I was on the Big Gulp and donut diet, with an occasional Big Mac thrown in for some protein from time to time. Candy was my weakness, but that was ok, because I drank Diet Mountain Dew to balance out the sugar load.
I wish that someone had told me back then that what I ate affected my allergies and brain function, but I'm not sure anyone around me really knew, and I certainly didn't notice because I never tried to not eat those things. I was a product of the 80's, where all we cared about were calories and Buns of Steel. As long as my calorie intake was low, it didn't matter where those calories came from.
It's not like my parents didn't teach me anything about nutrition. We always had a beautiful garden that provided us with fresh veggies and melons throughout the summer. Quite often we would buy part of a cow or pig from a local butcher that would fill our freezer with high-quality meat for the year. As a family we really didn't eat out very often, so most of my meals were home-cooked, and I don't remember there being an overabundance of chips and Twinkies in the house.
I was just a teenager with a car, a paycheck, and the freedom to buy all the junk food and fast food that I could afford when I was out and about.
It took me a while to figure things out, but eventually I did. My parents instilled in me the value of eating whole foods, making home-cooked meals, and moving my body. Eventually I returned to that.
As parents we try to plant as many seeds as we can, be the best role-models we can be, provide a nurturing environment, and hope that we don't screw our kids up too much in the process. That's about all we can do.
My practical advice to other parents? Make home-cooked meals as often as possible, send them to school with healthy lunches, teach your kids to cook (at least the basics!) and encourage them to experiment.
Make sure your kids know what real food is and where it comes from, limit the amount of fake food that finds its way into your cupboards, but allow for treats from time to time. They will find plenty of treats outside of your home, so don't worry that they will be deprived!
Encourage them to move their bodies, even if they aren't particularly athletic, but never, ever, ever comment about the size or shape of their bodies. Focus on strength, stamina, and all the fabulous things their bodies can do!
Some of the best advice I got when my kids were little: It's your job to provide them with healthy food; it's their job to eat (or not eat) it. Control what you can control--that's all you can do. There are plenty of other factors out there that may potentially set them up for disordered eating. Don't be one of those factors.
My last piece of advice--take good care of yourself and model a healthy relationship with food and with your own body. That may be harder said than done, but when you think about your own complicated relationship with food (be honest!) what do you really want to pass on to your kids? Don't let them see or hear you hating on yourself. They see themselves as miniature versions of you. Don't you want them to love themselves?
Plant the seeds. They are listening even when they pretend to ignore you or challenge you. (At least that's what I keep telling myself!) If you've done your job, those seeds will flourish eventually and your kids may even thank you someday!
I'd love to talk to you about the program, so please book a free consultation with me by clicking the Calendly button. I look forward to talking to you!
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