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three key ways to live the life you want


I've been digging deep into the topic of emotional eating lately.  The pandemic hit a lot of us hard and we often ate to soothe our feelings while we were stuck at home.  Food was readily available and we weren't able to go out and do the things that might normally distract us from grazing all day.  We might have felt a lot of fear and anxiety that was easily comforted by eating our favorite foods.  I know at my house there were a lot of movie nights where popcorn, ice cream, and an alcoholic beverage or two made a frequent appearance.

Now that we are able to roam a little more freely, and many of our fears have dissipated, we are still stuck with some extra pounds and eating habits that aren't serving us very well.

One of the common themes that I have found in reading and talking to people is the feeling that we don't have control over our own lives anymore.  We don't have control over the virus, school, work, politics, other people and their behavior...and the list goes on and on. We may feel like we have the day planned out, and then the wishes or needs of others take over, and instead of respecting our boundaries, we give in to people-pleasing and taking care of everyone but ourselves. 

This leads us to feeling like we don't have control over what goes in our mouths either.  We might give in to the request for pizza night instead of sticking to the healthy meal we had planned to make at home.  We might forgo our workout so we can help take the car to the shop.  We might eat the cookies we bought for a kid's party just so they don't go to waste.

It's ok to be loving and helpful, but when you become resentful as a result, you are no longer serving anyone--especially yourself.  Remember the oxygen mask, ladies.

Here are the keys I've found to taking care of yourself, and let me warn you, they may require a major mindset shift.  Take some time to pray or meditate on them, practice these phrases in your head before trying them out in person, and spend some time with pen and paper, journaling what these things mean to you and how to implement them into your life. 

  1. Live your life with purpose and intention.  What is the vision you have for yourself?  Write it out, create a vision board, or write yourself a letter.  Take a look at it each morning or make it your screen saver.  Ideally everything you do should contribute to the vision you have for yourself.  Yes, there will always be laundry to do, bathrooms to clean, and meals to make, but even those things can be intentional.  Are you trying to cut down on the chemicals you use to clean?  Are you trying to feed your family healthier meals?  Plan ahead and do those things with a purpose.  Do you feel like the kid Uber has taken over your life?  Make it a phone-free zone and use the time to connect with your passengers, and plan to use wait-time for checking email or reading the book you want to read.
  2. Establish your boundaries and practice saying no respectfully. Instead of agreeing to head up one more volunteer committee that requires weekly meetings, say "I'd love to, but I'll have to check my calendar."  Or "Thank you for thinking of me, I just don't have time in my schedule for that right now."  When offered that plate of brownies, instead of saying "I can't eat that because I'm trying to lose weight," (opening up a whole can of loopholes and protestations), just say "No, thank you," and leave it at that.
  3. Watch your language.  Replace should with could and have to with choose to.  Shoulds and have tos make us feel guilty and resentful.  "I could work out today and that would make me feel better," instead of "I should (but I don't want to!  And I'm a lazy bum...)" Or "I choose to go for a walk because it helps me clear my head," instead of "I have to go for a walk so I can fit into my swimsuit next week."  See the difference?
If you do these things on a regular basis, you are going to feel more in control of your life and less likely to go looking for comfort in ways that don't serve you (like the snack cupboard!)  They take some soul-searching and a lot of practice, so don't beat yourself up if you find yourself slipping back into old habits.  Speak kindly to yourself like you would your best friend.  Control what you can control, and let the rest go.   By living your life according to your own terms you are providing the best role modeling you can to those around you--especially those little people in your Uber. :)

Peace and hugs, friends!

If you'd like to talk to me more about creating a nutrition plan that works for you, I've got you!  I'm a certified Nutrition Coach who will create a simple, customized meal plan for you and coach you through how to implement it into your busy life.  We also talk about all the pitfalls that make it hard, and help you make it the anchor that keeps you healthy, energized, and sane through the whirlwind of your everyday life.

I'd love to talk to you about the program, so please book a free consultation with me by clicking the Calendly button. I look forward to talking to you!



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