Over the last few years I've learned a lot about hormones and their role in our bodies. I've read a lot of books and articles about the subject, and I listen to endless podcasts with experts like Anna Cabeca, Cynthia Thurlow, and Sara Gottfried (just to name a few!) Now that I'm knocking at the Menopause Door myself, I'm especially interested in how to get through the next few years, but I really wish that I had known what I know now back in my 20's and 30's.
In a recent conversation with my teenaged daughters about the state of affairs in our country, I realized that what I thought they were learning about the female cycle and human reproduction in school is vastly different from what they had actually learned. And contraception? Not a word.
Now in a perfect world, I would love it if all teenagers prescribed to the abstinence-based education they were getting, but I don't think that's realistic. And what about when they graduate, enter a long-term relationship, or get married? What do they know about their bodies, how pregnancy happens, and how it can be prevented? And what about the young girls who are victims of abuse, incest, and rape? How do you explain abstinence to them?
I am deeply embarrassed that I didn't ask enough questions early on about what my girls were learning in school. My oldest and I have had a lot of in-depth conversations about sex, but my youngest--no. I guess I just thought it would all trickle down. I was shocked when she told me that she didn't understand the female cycle and the timing of it all. At least she knew the basics about contraception that she had learned somewhere along the way (osmosis?)
Then again, my girls are lucky. We have conversations about such things, especially when I find gaps in their learning. They are smart girls and know how to research. They know they can get access to contraception and healthcare if the need arises. But what about all the other girls and women out there who are uninformed and don't have access to effective and affordable healthcare? And don't forget the boys and men--they need to know this stuff too! I don't want to get political or debate moral ethics here, but there is so much we can do just by providing factual information to our children.
And really, it all comes down to science. Our bodies are amazing machines. They can climb mountains, build companies, invent new technology, and create babies, for God's sake! The way our bodies work is fascinating, and it's frustrating to me that our health and human biology classes are so watered down and often promote outdated information.
So here's what I want my daughters to know: (I'm not a doctor, so these are just the basics!)
1. Your monthly cycle is divided into 4 phases: your period, the follicular phase, ovulation, and the luteal phase. You can learn so much about yourself by tracking it--either with an app or just an old-fashioned calendar.
From mid-period through ovulation, your estrogen levels are at their highest, and estrogen is your "super-power" hormone. That's the time to get things done, socialize, compete, do your public speaking, perform, work out hard, etc. Use it to your advantage!
After ovulation, estrogen levels start dropping and progesterone levels start rising. Progesterone is your comforting, calming hormone that tends to make you look inward, curl up with a good book, and choose a yoga class or long walk over a hard run. Many of our pre-menopause problems are caused by an overabundance of estrogen, so we need progesterone to help balance it out.
Right before menstruation both of these hormones are at their lowest points, which is why you might get achy, bloated, and start craving sweets in an attempt to bring your progesterone and serotonin levels back up.
2. The most important hormone, however, is insulin. When you eat too much sweet stuff you get an constant surge of insulin, which messes with your other hormones. Along with insulin dysregulation, chemicals in your beauty and cleaning products can also disrupt your hormones, leading to issues like acne, weight gain, mood disorders, excess cramping, and PCOS. What you eat and what you put on your body are controllable. If you're having problems, start there.
3. The Pill disrupts all of these functions and suppresses ovulation. That is definitely a better alternative than an unwanted pregnancy, but there may be preferable contraceptives out there for you.
4. Condoms protect you from so much more than pregnancy. Some STI's are forever.
5. I could get emotional here and talk about how you are worthwhile beyond measure and that you need to choose partners wisely and never settle for second best--blah, blah, blah--but I won't. Just take care of yourself, and when or if you decide to have your own child someday, know that it will be the most painful but enjoyable experience of your life, and you will love that baby more than you ever thought possible.
So if you have daughters, please make sure you are talking to them about these things. Find out what they know and where they are getting their information. Keep yourself informed too! Like I said before, I wish I had known then what I know now. Maybe I could have avoided years of migraines, achiness, and cramping if I had. Most of all, let them know every day that they are worthwhile and loved. (And remember that about yourself, too!)
Hugs, friends!
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