I am a fan of the sun. I love its ability to warm me when I'm cold, to trigger vitamin D production in my skin, and to boost my mood. As a kid growing up in Iowa, I spent long afternoons mowing lawns, hiking around the nearby woods, and lying in the backyard trying to get the perfect tan. Most of this did not involve sunscreen. Ok, maybe some baby oil or Coppertone SPF4, but nothing really protective.
As an adult, I have always enjoyed a little bit of a tan, but I've been more careful. I limit my time in the direct sun and wear a hat every time I go out for a long hike or run. Sunscreen is part of my daily routine.
Unfortunately, it all caught up to me this year. I go to the dermatologist every year, and every year she burns off a spot or two that she refers to as my "barnacles," otherwise known as actinic keratoses.
This year, however, she decided to take a couple of biopsies. They were basal cell carcinomas, requiring Mohs skin cancer surgeries. In case you don't know what the Mohs procedure is, that's where the surgeon removes the affected skin, checks it under a microscope while you wait, cuts out more if needed, and then stitches you up and sends you on your way, usually with a 3-4 inch incision.
I had the first one done in early December. It was a spot on my left cheek near my ear that had been there for a few years. She got it all on the first try, stitched it up, and sent me home. My husband took the stitches out a week later and it healed in time to be hardly noticeable by Christmas. Easy, peasy, I thought. I knew the one on top of my head would probably be a little worse, but only because it might result in the loss of some hair. I was not prepared for what happened.
I won't go into all the gory details, but I will tell you that she did not get it all on the first try, or the second, or even the third. It took 6 rounds before she declared me cancer free. With each cut, I required more and more anesthesia in my head so that I wouldn't feel what was going on. The repair job at the end was the worst part, and I was in tears by the time she finished. She told me that they only have a case as bad as mine about once a year, and that no one ever needs that much lidocaine. Go big or go home, right?
That night I slept in a chair with my head throbbing and dopey. A couple of days later I was up and around, playing nursemaid to my two daughters who had their wisdom teeth removed on the same day. That was another horrific story that I won't go into right now. Let's just say it was poor planning on my part. :)
The next week went fine, but it turns out that somewhere along the way the stitches did not hold the entire incision. I had a literal hole in my head. And yes, I have been the butt of many a joke around here. According to my husband, all my demons have finally been set free. :)
At this point, 24 days later, I have an open wound at the top of my head that is packed with heavy duty antibiotic ointment and gauze. The hair around it has gone on strike. Too much trauma, I guess. It may require some plastic surgery later on, but for now, all I can do is focus on healing.
I'm not telling you this story out of a need for attention or pity (although I would like people to know why I'm wearing the funky headbands every day. I'm really not that fashionable.) Maybe it will inspire you to wear your sunscreen, or a hat, or to stay in the shade. Maybe not.
Since this is a wellness blog, here's my point. Stress wreaks havoc on your nutrition plan. It makes it hard to stick to 2-3 meals a day. It makes it hard to resist the treats that you feel like you deserve when you've been through hell and back. It makes it hard to exercise when your doctor has told you not to run or lift heavy things. And it makes it hard to implement all the self-care things you know you should be doing when you're just trying to keep your head above water and not let the parenting and working and volunteering things fall apart.
But we have to. This is my stress right now, and I know you all have your own stresses. Some of them are way bigger than a hole and a bald spot. Give yourself grace. Find at least one thing you can do each day to take care of yourself. Today I took a walk, I cooked a healthy, protein and veggie-rich meal, and later I may try to take bath with some of my favorite essential oils. Writing this blogpost is a form of journaling for me. Hugs from my husband have been a lifesaver. Letting myself have a good cry every once in a while has been pretty therapeutic, too. The big, ugly, sobbing kind is especially helpful. I'm a pro at stuffing feelings inside, but you know what? Crying and talking and hugging feels pretty good too. And when I do those things I don't feel quite the urge to stuff my face with Girl Scout cookies. Instead I can have a cup of tea, sit on the couch, and just heal for a while.
If you're looking for a way to make your life easier among the chaos and stress, I've got you! I will create a simple, customized meal plan for you, and coach you through how to implement it into your busy life. We also talk about all the things that make it hard, and help you make it the anchor that keeps you healthy, energized, and sane through the whirlwind of your everyday life.
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